Personal branding, accountability, and how to just be yourself already
July 20, 2007 | By Rebecca Thorman |I’ve worked hard over the past two years to change my image. I used to dumb myself down, play my looks up. It was easier that way. I didn’t have to buy any drinks in college, for instance. That was my brand, an image that wasn’t who I was or wanted to be. But it worked, so I kept on.
Until my boyfriend told me I wasn’t interesting enough. Until I came home from a meeting one day, furious for not speaking my mind. Until I had one scary frickin’ visit to the ER. Yeah, those life-threatening events, they’ll get you every time.
I sat down to think about who I really was, proceeded to have a quarter-life crisis, and made some tough decisions. They weren’t decisions that were visible. I didn’t quit my job, or become celibate, or move across the country to pursue reality television. But I did slowly, painfully, change and start to brand myself differently.
Personal branding is your personality, who you are as an individual and “the sum of other brands that you either own, work for or touch in some distinct way.” It’s about being you, and marketing the heck out of it.
You, who is reliably manipulative, can’t make a commitment if your life depended on it, and won’t go to bed until you clear the next level in your video game. You, who is only working until you have a baby, hopefully two, so you can stay at home and take care of your family. You, who works eighty hours a week and must separate your jelly beans into color-respective piles before eating.
Branding is marketing those very gems of your personality. That’s not hard to do. Just be yourself. If you’re acting like someone you’re not, then it will come back to haunt you, like when the infatuation wears off in a relationship, and it is at that moment your girlfriend finds your box of hair-regeneration pills in your underwear drawer. Whoever you are, it’s really hard to change, so you win by just being you from the start.
And sometimes, inevitably, you lose. Like this guy.
Branding is inextricably linked to accountability. If you do a good enough job of marketing yourself a certain way, people will start to believe you. So much so that when you mess up, or step out of your brand, it will make others uncomfortable.
I wouldn’t worry too much about this. Instead, focus on how you define accountability and your own comfort level with your actions.
Our lives are out in the open for all to see. Who you are at your job is who you are at the bar is who you are at the gym is who you are during sex is who you are at the company picnic is who you are at, well, you get the idea. Politicians do cheat on their wives. CEOs are bad parents. Artists are erratic friends. So, what? They’re good at their passions, and at the end of the day, we’re all doing the best we can in the circumstances given.
Your image reflects on your company, friends, and family. You, however, need to be accountable to yourself first. If you’re dancing on the tables at the bar, and worried about getting caught, either you have something personally wrong, or you need to find a different job that accepts your lack of inhibition. If your Facebook photos might get you in trouble, take them down, or decide you want to work at a place where they don’t care about that sort of thing.
The lines between work and play are increasingly blurring, and if you’re one person during the day and a different one at night you have to be proud enough to market the heck out of it. If you’re not comfortable, you need to learn more about who you are. You are in control of your brand.
My mother used to tell me, “Remember who you are,” whenever I left the house. People with integrity and confidence don’t worry about “getting caught,” because they know who they are. They know that dancing on tables is acceptable to them, or that their Facebook pictures show another layer of their onion. And if it’s not okay to them, they act accordingly.
In summary, to rock the branding/accountability boat:
1. Know yourself.
2. Be yourself.
3. Love it.
4. Repeat.
By the way, I still enjoy receiving free drinks, because I’ve realized I’m okay with using my looks… Sometimes.
I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. Part of the problem with people branding themselves is - they don’t know who they are.
I also think personal branding is pursuit some people flat out don’t aspire to. Take, for example, the nasty comments people leave on the blogs of prominent thinkers. They just want to be mean and anonymous, and not have to deal with personal accountability, because that’s fun for them. But they don’t get that their efforts don’t have credibility because they aren’t putting themselves out there. So in the end, was the effort even worth their time?
But as you mentioned, who you are is who you are. I personally want to live the kind of life that I’m proud for everyone I interact with to see - whether it’s at work or online or with friends or at dinner.
Comment by Tiffany — July 20, 2007 #
Awesome post, Rebecca!
Comment by Ryan Healy — July 20, 2007 #
@ Tiffany - Thank you for your thoughtful comment. I think that people who anonymously leave comments are still branding, but in a different way. But you’re right, they are not interested in accountability. However, if that’s the bar that they’ve set for themselves, then who am I to admonish them? People make choices and we only have control over our own actions.
@ Ryan- Thank you!
Comment by Rebecca Thorman — July 20, 2007 #
I think the concept of being you at all times is increasingly important, especially for young people. We can’t hide anymore. If you do something dumb at the bar, chances are it will be on Facebook. You can untag it, but someone could stumble onto it. Just look at Ms. New Jersey.
So dont do anything too stupid, but dont hide who you are. If someone doesnt like it then it’s their loss. I think the hardest part is figuring out who YOU really are. Once that is taken care of the rest is easy.
BTW - I would buy you a drink, and I have never seen you.
Keep up the good posts.
-Ryan
Comment by Ryan Healy — July 20, 2007 #
Thanks, Ryan. Maybe when you do see me, you won’t want to buy me a drink- haha! No, in all seriousness, take the case of Ms. New Jersey. I think it took a lot of guts for her to release the pictures on the news and then choose to be interviewed about it. She was apologetic, but also kind of said, look, this is me. And then all the reporters agreed the pictures weren’t that bad.
I’m going to post something later today on how to figure out who you are - stay tuned!
Comment by Rebecca Thorman — July 20, 2007 #
[…] Don’t forget to read my related post, “Personal branding, accountability, and how to just be yourself already.” […]
Pingback by Modite - Engagement for the next generation — July 20, 2007 #
I am not a huge fan of people leaving comments saying nice post but hey, it’s Friday. I also hate when people say, hey it’s a Monday:)
Regardless, great job!
Comment by noah kagan — July 20, 2007 #
Hi Rebecca, just writing in to say I like your blog! Keep up the great work.
Best,
Alexandra Levit
Author, They Don’t Teach Corporate in College
Blogger, Water Cooler Wisdom
http://www.alexandralevit.com/blog
Comment by Alexandra Levit — July 21, 2007 #
Thank you, Noah and Alexandra! Who doesn’t like to be told they’re great? The admiration is mutual
Comment by Rebecca Thorman — July 21, 2007 #
[…] Preparation is hesitation. Action is change. […]
Pingback by Modite - Engagement for the next generation — July 23, 2007 #
Rebecca this is great work. Thank you for the mention and please send any material you would like included in the next issue of my new magazine.
Dan Schawbel
Publisher - Personal Branding Magazine
http://www.personalbrandingmag.com
Comment by Dan Schawbel — July 23, 2007 #
Since I\’m in the real estate business I thought you might find it interesting to know there\’s a company that specializes in personal brand marketing for realtors. http://www.hobbsherder.com I went to one of their seminars and the entire first day of the seminar was devoted to figuring out who we are as individuals. What get\’s us excited, what motivates us, etc.. Only if you can identify who you \”truly are\” then you can develop a marketing plan that fits your core demographic of who you best relate to. When buying or selling a house I think that it\’s most important that people work with an agent that they are comfortable with.
Comment by Josh Lavik — July 23, 2007 #
@ Dan- Thank you for your kind comments. I appreciate it especially coming from a personal branding expert!
@ Josh- I tried to get your website to work only to mess up the formatting somehow- sorry! Anyway, thanks for sharing the information about branding and realtors. I think that’s great advice because clients or customers can sense if you are not comfortable with you and that can be bad on business, certainly.
Comment by Rebecca Thorman — July 23, 2007 #
[…] Gen Y leaders then must know themselves first, and project their authenticity. They must also be constantly learning, experiencing, doing, networking, creating, giving. It won’t stop. Our generation won’t put up with selfish thoughts, unethical behavior, or tired ideas. The Gen Y leader must be constantly on. […]
Pingback by Employee Evolution - What it means to be a Gen-Y leader — July 30, 2007 #
[…] Gen Y leaders then must know themselves first, and project their authenticity. They must also be constantly learning, experiencing, doing, networking, creating, giving. It won’t stop. Our generation won’t put up with selfish thoughts, unethical behavior, or tired ideas. The Gen Y leader must be constantly on. […]
Pingback by Modite - Engagement for the next generation — July 30, 2007 #
[…] And we’re a bit impatient. It seems the process of “discovering yourself” just takes too long. Young professionals don’t want to look back on life at fifty and say “I wish I’d known this then.” We don’t want to live our lives, form our careers, all to get to a place where we need to “reinvent” ourselves mid-life just to become what we always wanted to be. No thanks. So we reflect now, in our twenties, with our options open. But that, as it turns out, is a lot of pressure. So much, it can get a little overwhelming. […]
Pingback by Invent Yourself. Forget the “Re” « Little Red Suit — August 21, 2007 #
[…] If you’re going to define yourself a certain way, then go for it. Use meaningful action. Don’t waste your time on little things that provide little value according to your goal. Set priorities to create the most impact, and avoid getting mired in the insignificant. […]
Pingback by Modite - Engagement for the next generation — August 30, 2007 #
I think you got yourself a manifesto.
Although, I have to wonder about the journey. You hurry up and by the age of 20 you know who you are and by the age of 25 you realize you are your journey. You change every day, every second. Which parts of you are truly consistent? Not to mention doing something at 20 which will embarrass you at 25 (even if it’s not really embarrassing, it may turn out to be professionally inappropriate).
Also, a question: How do you brand yourself? in the practical sense, I mean.
Inspiring post,
Tali
Comment by Tali — September 2, 2007 #
[…] Everyone hates networking in the beginning. It feels unnatural after we’ve been spoon-fed our friends in high school and college. Nevertheless, I forced myself to go to networking events a few years ago because my boyfriend at the time told me that I didn’t have enough friends. That was the same one who told me I was boring. Quality, I know. But he was right. Honesty hurts: […]
Pingback by Modite - Engagement for the next generation — September 10, 2007 #
[…] We want guidance but to do things our own way. We want to be safe but take risks. We want to be loyal to employers but true to ourselves. We want to have dreams but stability. We want to do it all but have free time. […]
Pingback by A Generation of Paradox « Little Red Suit — September 19, 2007 #
[…] There’s a new trend in which as peers, we’re checking under the rug to see what might have been swept underneath. It’s a matter of ethics, a matter of accountability, credibility, and simply realizing that if we’re following, we should pay closer attention to who is leading. […]
Pingback by Modite - What gives you the right to be a young leader — November 1, 2007 #
[…] And I’m never sick. Oh, sure. I’ve alluded to the one time when I had some strange freak condition that landed me in the hospital. But besides that. […]
Pingback by Modite - How to be productive when you’re sick — November 2, 2007 #
[…] Belle doesn’t come to any of my organization’s events. She doesn’t know the majority of the people. She leads a completely different life. And while we don’t have those shared experiences, it is for that reason that it’s refreshing to be around her. I’ve known her long enough that I’m not defined as a young leader, as a Gen Y Princess, a blogger, or as an Executive Director. I’m just me. And that’s a big deep breath of happiness. […]
Pingback by Modite - No co-workers a challenge for the twenty-something boss — November 5, 2007 #
[…] Must read before you leave Personal branding, accountability, and how to just be yourself already What it means to be a Gen-Y leader What gives you the right to be a young leader 7 concessions and a challenge to the Gen Y naysayers The power of place - What do you think? […]
Pingback by Modite - I’m featured in the New York Times! — November 5, 2007 #
[…] When I got sick, one of the first things I had to do to get better was learn to give myself shots in the stomach. The very first time I had to do it, I sat on a hospital bed with Johannes across from me and the nurse beside me, and I cried. And when I say cried, I mean I bawled harder than I have ever bawled in my adult existence. My whole body heaved with the impossibility of the task. […]
Pingback by Modite - What passion looks like — November 29, 2007 #
very interesting, but I don’t agree with you
Idetrorce
Comment by Idetrorce — December 15, 2007 #
[…] Instead, give guys a reason to want to settling down. Be interesting. Be lovely. Be someone worth giving up bachelorhood for. […]
Pingback by Men Need To Grow Up? | Twenty Set — February 21, 2008 #
[…] At the time, I was confused and unhappy. What I thought was supposed to be my dream job wasn’t working out and I felt claustrophobic in an invisible box, like a mime putting on a bad show. […]
Pingback by Modite - How I got my dream job (and survived) — February 27, 2008 #
Rebecca, this is a great post on branding and personal marketing, and I agree with most everything in there.
My 2c is that everyone develop their core VALUES, which never (or rarely change), and from there use your values to guide your life. A core value would be something simple like honesty; can you value honesty and be both a professional by day and a party animal at night? Yes, of course. The value never changes, but your “frame” or sub-personality may adapt to the environment. Nothing wrong with that. Adaptability is a quintessential human trait.
My core values include honesty, fun (works day and night), passion, and respect.
Cheers,
Comment by Lance — March 3, 2008 #
[…] guys a reason to want to settle down. Be interesting. Be lovely. Be someone worth giving up bachelorhood for. Sure, men need to grow up, but they […]
Pingback by Weekend Roundup: Thanks To Our Peeps Edition | Honey and Lance — March 8, 2008 #
[…] know, I know. Penelope, Rebecca and Tiffany (and countless others) have guts. I truly admire those who are able to put it all out […]
Pingback by Girl Meets Business | Starting small: Seven things about me — March 18, 2008 #
[…] but something else. I dare call it change. Because of her readership she is called to be accountable for her promise some odd 17 days […]
Pingback by Blogging as an Experiment in Courage : Brazen Careerist — May 13, 2008 #
[…] they want in their lives-professionally and personally (myself being proof). There are countless posts, articles, videos and Web sites devoted to helping people of all ages start their own […]
Pingback by You Have a Blog? So What. Join the Conversation. « Life Before Noon: A Millennial’s Manual — October 30, 2008 #
[…] But I am not Andrew Sullivan, so I can’t. Instead I thought of all the things I had learned, the advice I had gained, the opportunities I’ve received, the people I had interviewed and the late […]
Pingback by Forget careers. Blogging changes lives « Politicoholic — December 12, 2008 #
[…] by group norms: the unwritten rules which describe how individuals in a group ‘are’ and how they ‘ought’ to behave. Norms influence what people believe is right and wrong just as surely as real laws, but with none […]
Pingback by Is Gen Y teamwork killing creativity? | Modite — June 9, 2009 #