Comments on: Dissent in the Gen Y ranks – family or career? http://modite.com/blog/2007/09/12/dissent-in-the-gen-y-ranks-%e2%80%93-family-or-career/ Engagement for the next generation Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:20:32 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: Forget About Getting a Degree - Get an Experience http://modite.com/blog/2007/09/12/dissent-in-the-gen-y-ranks-%e2%80%93-family-or-career/#comment-25376 Forget About Getting a Degree - Get an Experience Thu, 31 Jan 2008 11:02:30 +0000 http://modite.com/blog/2007/09/12/dissent-in-the-gen-y-ranks-%e2%80%93-family-or-career/#comment-25376 [...] My goal is to start a business… soon.  But not now, because I’m young and want to enjoy my early/mid twenties with a great social life in a large city.  To me, a business is a huge commitment; something you pour your life and soul into for years before it starts profiting (if it ever profits).  I can’t understand why someone would give up everything else to do that in their early twenties; but who am I to talk, when Ryan thinks it’s crazy I’m married already.  Maybe it’s not about needing guidance or needing help or not having enough passion so much as it is about personal preference.  Maybe we’re talking about the same thing in the end. [...] […] My goal is to start a business… soon.  But not now, because I’m young and want to enjoy my early/mid twenties with a great social life in a large city.  To me, a business is a huge commitment; something you pour your life and soul into for years before it starts profiting (if it ever profits).  I can’t understand why someone would give up everything else to do that in their early twenties; but who am I to talk, when Ryan thinks it’s crazy I’m married already.  Maybe it’s not about needing guidance or needing help or not having enough passion so much as it is about personal preference.  Maybe we’re talking about the same thing in the end. […]

]]> By: Modite - Helping your career when you’re not middle class http://modite.com/blog/2007/09/12/dissent-in-the-gen-y-ranks-%e2%80%93-family-or-career/#comment-15794 Modite - Helping your career when you’re not middle class Wed, 19 Dec 2007 05:30:22 +0000 http://modite.com/blog/2007/09/12/dissent-in-the-gen-y-ranks-%e2%80%93-family-or-career/#comment-15794 [...] I want to respond to the latest post at Employee Evolution, as I’ve done in the past here. This time, Ryan Healy writes on ways your family can help you with your career. Here’s my take: [...] […] I want to respond to the latest post at Employee Evolution, as I’ve done in the past here. This time, Ryan Healy writes on ways your family can help you with your career. Here’s my take: […]

]]> By: Winning The Battle of Work vs. Life at Personal PR http://modite.com/blog/2007/09/12/dissent-in-the-gen-y-ranks-%e2%80%93-family-or-career/#comment-11587 Winning The Battle of Work vs. Life at Personal PR Sun, 02 Dec 2007 05:58:58 +0000 http://modite.com/blog/2007/09/12/dissent-in-the-gen-y-ranks-%e2%80%93-family-or-career/#comment-11587 [...] Here’s what it boils down to: How we handle the proving ourselves time in entering the workforce is going to set precedents for the way the rest of our lives and opportunities play out. For example, as Penelope Trunk recently wrote, young women who want to have a family and career face the serious dilemma of timing and capitalizing on their fertility versus committing fully to a career. On the other hand of the same argument, young men like Ryan Paugh are talking about the dilemma of whether or not to commit to a long-term romantic relationship or to take risks in their career early on. [...] […] Here’s what it boils down to: How we handle the proving ourselves time in entering the workforce is going to set precedents for the way the rest of our lives and opportunities play out. For example, as Penelope Trunk recently wrote, young women who want to have a family and career face the serious dilemma of timing and capitalizing on their fertility versus committing fully to a career. On the other hand of the same argument, young men like Ryan Paugh are talking about the dilemma of whether or not to commit to a long-term romantic relationship or to take risks in their career early on. […]

]]> By: Winning The Battle of Work vs. Life « Little Red Suit http://modite.com/blog/2007/09/12/dissent-in-the-gen-y-ranks-%e2%80%93-family-or-career/#comment-5002 Winning The Battle of Work vs. Life « Little Red Suit Fri, 02 Nov 2007 15:22:00 +0000 http://modite.com/blog/2007/09/12/dissent-in-the-gen-y-ranks-%e2%80%93-family-or-career/#comment-5002 [...] Here’s what it boils down to: How we handle the proving ourselves time in entering the workforce is going to set precedents for the way the rest of our lives and opportunities play out. For example, as Penelope Trunk recently wrote, young women who want to have a family and career face the serious dilemma of timing and capitalizing on their fertility versus committing fully to a career. On the other hand of the same argument, young men like Ryan Paugh are talking about the dilemma of whether or not to commit to a long-term romantic relationship or to take risks in their career early on. [...] […] Here’s what it boils down to: How we handle the proving ourselves time in entering the workforce is going to set precedents for the way the rest of our lives and opportunities play out. For example, as Penelope Trunk recently wrote, young women who want to have a family and career face the serious dilemma of timing and capitalizing on their fertility versus committing fully to a career. On the other hand of the same argument, young men like Ryan Paugh are talking about the dilemma of whether or not to commit to a long-term romantic relationship or to take risks in their career early on. […]

]]> By: Modite - Engagement for the next generation http://modite.com/blog/2007/09/12/dissent-in-the-gen-y-ranks-%e2%80%93-family-or-career/#comment-3609 Modite - Engagement for the next generation Mon, 22 Oct 2007 01:11:01 +0000 http://modite.com/blog/2007/09/12/dissent-in-the-gen-y-ranks-%e2%80%93-family-or-career/#comment-3609 [...] It’s not about prioritizing one over the other, nor is there a single answer that works for everyone; there are extremes at either end. What remains consistent in women, however, is their sense of increasing independence. [...] […] It’s not about prioritizing one over the other, nor is there a single answer that works for everyone; there are extremes at either end. What remains consistent in women, however, is their sense of increasing independence. […]

]]> By: Sarah http://modite.com/blog/2007/09/12/dissent-in-the-gen-y-ranks-%e2%80%93-family-or-career/#comment-2404 Sarah Tue, 09 Oct 2007 15:29:47 +0000 http://modite.com/blog/2007/09/12/dissent-in-the-gen-y-ranks-%e2%80%93-family-or-career/#comment-2404 Oh, this is such a big lesson to learn! And honestly, I didn't finally 'get it' until ~5 years of marriage...which was four years ago. I'm 32. Our solution for people who find themselves 'leaders' was to seek out a spouse who is also a leader in their own, separate field, then construct backup social networks for when said spouse is busy. Finally, mentally keep spouse on a very long leash - after all, my admiration for his leadership of his field is one of the things that attracted me in the first place. He feels the same about me. What's great about this, is the 'leadership loneliness' shorthand that you develop - someone always knows how you feel, and knows that you have a commitment to your work that may come before them right now, and IT'S OKAY. No hissy fits, no sulking, no guilt complexes. He trusts that I will come back and tell all about my latest conquest/challenge, and at some point I'll be ready to take a break from the gruntwork and listen to his side. Each of us seeks advice from the other occasionally - and it doesn't matter that the jargon and physics of each field is different - people are the same the world over. My 'support' of his work is merely to constantly imply: "You're good at what you do. Keep at it." He does the same for me. Sometimes we get around to actually saying so. But this is different from Chuck's 'team effort' - I know couples who are like that, but we are both too headstrong to work together on anything larger than household projects, and even there, it works best to divide and conquer. The attitude of 'I feel blessed to be able to do this for you' goes a long way - from picking up the occasional financial shortfalls to taking out the garbage. Oh, this is such a big lesson to learn! And honestly, I didn’t finally ‘get it’ until ~5 years of marriage…which was four years ago. I’m 32.

Our solution for people who find themselves ‘leaders’ was to seek out a spouse who is also a leader in their own, separate field, then construct backup social networks for when said spouse is busy. Finally, mentally keep spouse on a very long leash - after all, my admiration for his leadership of his field is one of the things that attracted me in the first place. He feels the same about me.

What’s great about this, is the ‘leadership loneliness’ shorthand that you develop - someone always knows how you feel, and knows that you have a commitment to your work that may come before them right now, and IT’S OKAY. No hissy fits, no sulking, no guilt complexes. He trusts that I will come back and tell all about my latest conquest/challenge, and at some point I’ll be ready to take a break from the gruntwork and listen to his side.

Each of us seeks advice from the other occasionally - and it doesn’t matter that the jargon and physics of each field is different - people are the same the world over.

My ’support’ of his work is merely to constantly imply: “You’re good at what you do. Keep at it.” He does the same for me. Sometimes we get around to actually saying so.

But this is different from Chuck’s ‘team effort’ - I know couples who are like that, but we are both too headstrong to work together on anything larger than household projects, and even there, it works best to divide and conquer. The attitude of ‘I feel blessed to be able to do this for you’ goes a long way - from picking up the occasional financial shortfalls to taking out the garbage.

]]> By: Modite - Engagement for the next generation http://modite.com/blog/2007/09/12/dissent-in-the-gen-y-ranks-%e2%80%93-family-or-career/#comment-2350 Modite - Engagement for the next generation Tue, 09 Oct 2007 02:10:18 +0000 http://modite.com/blog/2007/09/12/dissent-in-the-gen-y-ranks-%e2%80%93-family-or-career/#comment-2350 [...] As such, dating is a dangerous ingredient to add to the work/life blender. Friends and work and business associates and drinks and family all mix quite nicely. But the moment dating comes into the mix, people get all crazy. Seriously. Many in our generation would prefer not to even talk about it. A foreign concept to me because that’s essentially all my best friend Belle and I discuss. [...] […] As such, dating is a dangerous ingredient to add to the work/life blender. Friends and work and business associates and drinks and family all mix quite nicely. But the moment dating comes into the mix, people get all crazy. Seriously. Many in our generation would prefer not to even talk about it. A foreign concept to me because that’s essentially all my best friend Belle and I discuss. […]

]]> By: Modite - Engagement for the next generation http://modite.com/blog/2007/09/12/dissent-in-the-gen-y-ranks-%e2%80%93-family-or-career/#comment-2243 Modite - Engagement for the next generation Thu, 04 Oct 2007 16:11:41 +0000 http://modite.com/blog/2007/09/12/dissent-in-the-gen-y-ranks-%e2%80%93-family-or-career/#comment-2243 [...] As such, dating is a dangerous ingredient to add to the work/life blender. Friends and work and business associates and drinks and family all mix quite nicely. But the moment dating (and the prospect of sex) comes into the mix, people get all crazy. Seriously. Many in our generation would prefer not to even talk about dating and sex. A foreign concept to me because that’s essentially all my best friend Belle and I talk about. [...] […] As such, dating is a dangerous ingredient to add to the work/life blender. Friends and work and business associates and drinks and family all mix quite nicely. But the moment dating (and the prospect of sex) comes into the mix, people get all crazy. Seriously. Many in our generation would prefer not to even talk about dating and sex. A foreign concept to me because that’s essentially all my best friend Belle and I talk about. […]

]]> By: greg http://modite.com/blog/2007/09/12/dissent-in-the-gen-y-ranks-%e2%80%93-family-or-career/#comment-796 greg Tue, 18 Sep 2007 15:50:36 +0000 http://modite.com/blog/2007/09/12/dissent-in-the-gen-y-ranks-%e2%80%93-family-or-career/#comment-796 Rebecca, I have been a reader of Ryan's blog for a little while now and have just discovered yours. I totally agree with your vantage point on this subject. As a young, married millennial I know that having a partner and someone to come home to has its ups and downs. For us starting our businesses together help our creativity and communication. While it is true that I can't just pack up and head to Cape Cod with the boys all too often anymore, I still have plenty of freedom to watch my college football. Great blog. Can't wait to read some more!! Rebecca,
I have been a reader of Ryan’s blog for a little while now and have just discovered yours. I totally agree with your vantage point on this subject. As a young, married millennial I know that having a partner and someone to come home to has its ups and downs. For us starting our businesses together help our creativity and communication. While it is true that I can’t just pack up and head to Cape Cod with the boys all too often anymore, I still have plenty of freedom to watch my college football.

Great blog. Can’t wait to read some more!!

]]> By: Rayc22 http://modite.com/blog/2007/09/12/dissent-in-the-gen-y-ranks-%e2%80%93-family-or-career/#comment-677 Rayc22 Sat, 15 Sep 2007 22:15:48 +0000 http://modite.com/blog/2007/09/12/dissent-in-the-gen-y-ranks-%e2%80%93-family-or-career/#comment-677 Thanks for stickin' up for me (the self-declared married-old-fart). I can't agree more with you on this. Then again, I might be biased as I'm already hitched. :) However, I must admit that every now and then, my mind wonders off, "What would happen if..." I'll think about the hypothetical great job in DC, potentially what would be bachelor-style city-apartment, or even some nights would with my lady-friends. No more than a couple minutes that my wandering mind brings me back to reality -- A smile on her face, a recent silly argument, or even a simple meal we shared. That's my current reality and I'm diggin' it. Thanks for stickin’ up for me (the self-declared married-old-fart). I can’t agree more with you on this. Then again, I might be biased as I’m already hitched. :)
However, I must admit that every now and then, my mind wonders off, “What would happen if…” I’ll think about the hypothetical great job in DC, potentially what would be bachelor-style city-apartment, or even some nights would with my lady-friends. No more than a couple minutes that my wandering mind brings me back to reality — A smile on her face, a recent silly argument, or even a simple meal we shared.
That’s my current reality and I’m diggin’ it.

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