Brand yourself tomorrow

What could be called the bible of personal branding is coming out tomorrow, Thursday, November 1. It’s the Personal Branding Magazine and you should go purchase it now. I worked with founder and personal branding expert Dan Schawbel to proof and edit the first half of the magazine, which was worth it just to get a sneak peek of the articles from the thirty-seven different authors. The length makes it encyclopedic at times, but every article has value.

If you’ve been following Dan’s progress on the internet, you know that he’s one of the hardest workers around. His efforts to bring personal branding experts together in the magazine are unparalleled. And the profits from the magazine are benefiting the American Cancer Society. So far, he’s raised more than $1,000 for the cause.

I know, you want me to stop talking and let you know how to buy. It’s just $12.95 for 4 issues/year. And did I mention that I contributed an article to the magazine as well? Go check it out.

Branding bible.

Are you ready for success?

Success is like a game of dominoes. Don’t go after it unless you’re ready, because it tends to fall into place all at once.

This post is a tribute to Devin Reams, five.sentenc.es, and to Hercules, who only reads the highlighted parts of my blog.

Domino effect.

Generation Y breeds a new kind of woman

This post is an opening argument to the question, “Do women need men and/or children in order to be fulfilled?” Check out the opposing viewpoint from Justin Sanders here. This post was also published at Damsels in Success.

Update: This post was also published at Huffington Post.

Women need men. Just not like we used to.

While career guru Penelope Trunk insists that we will find deeper fulfillment from relationships over work, others like Hannah Seligson wonder why we can’t talk about “young women and careers without talking about the hunt for a husband?”

Generation Y women don’t relate to either. We don’t live container lives, with work and family and play muffled under air-tight lids. Our life bleeds together, and instead of a singular goal of family or career, we lead our lives as a continuum, family and career ebbing and flowing.

The reality of young women’s lives today is that we want it all, despite the warnings. While coming of age during 9/11 reinforced that family is deeply important to us, we were also raised to believe we could do and be anything, especially equal to men professionally.

It’s not about prioritizing one over the other, nor is there a single answer that works for everyone; there are extremes at either end. What remains consistent in women, however, is their sense of increasing independence.

Whether we check off men, children, career, or all of the above, the fact is that we have a choice, and what fulfills and limits us is not created by society and media, but increasingly our own desires.

As a result, our roles are changing. Women are becoming the leaders, and men the supporters. Even in relationships where children are the priority, and the woman chooses or is able to stay at home, women take on the dominant role, commanding a deeper respect than any time in history.

Many view the shifting roles as threatening the very basis of our biology. But it isn’t. It is simply uprooting the traditional western viewpoint.

Indeed, while spouses and children still rank as a source of fulfillment for women above careers, one’s personal fulfillment is increasingly not just augmented by, but necessitated by professional fulfillment as well.

Bored with motherhood and marriage, we savor the challenge of work. Michelle Obama said in a recent interview, “I love losing myself in a set of problems that have nothing to do with my husband and children. Once you’ve tasted that, it’s hard to walk away.”

Women don’t need men or children for fulfillment. They might get on okay with a cat, or their career, or another woman. But really, Generation Y doesn’t need much. We’ve been coddled and spoiled, and have long surpassed what we might need, and are instead creating what we want.

And what we want is to define a new kind of woman, a “compassionate alpha.”

The Generation Y woman has leadership and strength, and promotes community and empathy. We don’t dismiss motherhood, but embrace our strengths and use those to change the workplace, reaping from it a greater sense of fulfillment than ever before.

It is not a coincidence that at a time when power-hungry hierarchies are being broken down, women are leading and infiltrating the workplace. It is our skills and talents that have created such an influential shift.

Generation Y women are high-achievers, shrewd, well-dressed, and possess an emotional intelligence that far surpasses our male counterparts. We don’t rule by insecurities or fear, but by knowing ourselves well, and seeking connection with others.

In short, we’re women. We strive to be who we are, in our sexual identities, and in how we construct our personal and professional lives. We acknowledge our own complexities.

Our personal and professional lives are blurred more than ever before, and a woman’s strength in today’s society is the fact that we are true to ourselves — more so than any other generation — because past generations fought for our right to do so.

Ruthlessly beautiful.

Women need men and children to be fulfilled

This is a guest post from Justin Sanders who writes at www.thestateof.com. It is his opening argument on the question, “Do women need men and/or children in order to be fulfilled?” and it does not reflect my personal views. Check out my opposing viewpoint, “Generation Y breeds a new kind of woman,” here.

It is said that famed feminist Gloria Steinem once quipped, “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.” Well, if that’s the case, fish need bicycles.

In heterosexual marriage, the male wins a woman’s trust (i.e., love) through courtship. A woman cannot love a man she cannot trust. In return, she gives him the power to love her. This exchange of power for love is how a man and a woman become one, which is the primary goal of marriage. It is the psychological key that allows us to grow. Sex is the symbol of this permanent and exclusive bond. Without this growth and this bond, the lives of most people are unfulfilled.

Feminism teaches that male and female are the same and sex roles are merely “stereotypes” imposed by men. As a result, millions of people are clueless about their sexual identities and suffer from arrested development. Nowadays, women are socialized to work in corporations, not to be wives or mothers. Feminism has destabilized society by undermining heterosexuality and the family. This perverse assault on gender difference is disguised as an act of “defense” of women’s’ and homosexuals’ “right” to be single and childless. Women have been duped into seeking “power” and “independence” (aloneness) through climbing the mirage of the corporate ladder. What women really want is power expressed as male love. They will get it when they are able to believe in a man.

True femininity acts in concert with its masculine counterpart, just as masculinity needs a feminine companion in order to truly develop. This has been the natural order of human beings from time immemorial. The natural result of this union between the masculine and the feminine is the child - Heaven’s most precious gift. Without a child to care for, a woman often becomes frustrated, bitter and distracted. She often uses the “success” of her “career” (which is simply a glorified word for “job”) as a replacement for the void of the missing child. Motherhood changes a woman permanently. The job, which once seemed so important, quickly becomes secondary to the starry eyes of her loving child. I’ve seen far too many women recite feminists mantras only to discovery - in their late 30s - that all they really wanted was a warm baby to snuggle.

Men and women are different, biologically, emotionally and physically - and there is nothing wrong with acknowledging that, so long as we never attempt to confine women to certain limited roles. In the past, men “overplayed their hands,” so to speak, and wrongly confined women to solely domestic roles. Now, a vicious cycle has been created because men are overcompensating for their past transgressions by feeling as if they must act and think like women in order to make themselves more attractive (i.e., metrosexual). These men typically have a hard time keeping a woman’s interest because women innately reject weak men. A man gains fulfillment by protecting and providing for a family. Weak, feminized men cannot do this.

To be clear, there is nothing wrong with a woman having a career. What is wrong is when women prioritize their career and neglect the deeper fulfillment of family life.

The top 3 things you can do to save the world. Literally.

This post is part of Blog Action Day. I do not have any advertising on this site, so I cannot donate the revenue. Instead, I am donating .25 for every subscriber I have today and splitting the donation between my favorite online environmental charity and my favorite local environmental charity.

1. Ditch the car. I know a guy who drives a couple blocks from his condo to the bars. It’s one of those things that gets under my skin and makes me go crazy. The single best thing you can do to help the environment is to not own a car. Instead of driving, you can walk (gasp!), ride the bus, or carpool and carshare.

At my last job, I rode the bus to work every day. Now, my workplace is only a three minute walk away (the coffee shop and my cubicle both), and I actually miss the bus. There’s something relaxing in having someone else serve you, drive you, and being able to people watch, look out the window, read, listen to music. It’s a good way to start the day.

2. Live in a trendy location. If you live downtown, you’re probably doing this already. Living downtown in a city usually means that you are living in a small footprint . My apartment is 450 square feet and my new condo is 650 square feet. A trendy location is also close to farmers markets, the grocery store, bars, restaurants, coffee shops, parks, bookstores, libraries, fitness clubs, and shopping! I.e., the places that have a good walkabilty score. My walk score is 97 out of 100. That’s good for your health and good for the environment.

It’s easy not to own a car when you live in such a great location. It also means that you’ll always be only steps away from the best things happening on any given day. You will pay more in rent for living in such a location, but with no car costs (up keep, gas, insurance, parking costs, etc.), choosing the right neighborhood will ultimately be cheaper.

3. Eat yummy food. No chain restaurants. Keep it local. Avoid food that you don’t know where it came from. And for goodness sakes, please stop going to Starbucks. Here in Madison, there is a Starbucks on both ends of State St. It’s ridiculous. You probably live where you do for a reason. Why go somewhere that is the same everywhere across the world? Celebrate the uniqueness of where you live and who you are. Of course, even local restaurants don’t always have local food, but just try your best. When you eat food that is local, it tastes better and is better for you. And you shouldn’t settle for anything less to take care of your body.

Being good to the environment is not about living with less. It’s about living with more. Living better. It’s about quality over quantity. And it’s definitely the Modite way to go.

Greener pastures.

The real Generation Y work ethic

I’ve been in my new job for almost two months now, and there’s something I’ve noticed on the face of the hundreds of young professionals I’ve encountered.

Exhaustion. Our generation is tired. Really tired. Me too.

One of my favorite young professionals is a member of our Entrepreneurial Committee. He works for a Fortune 500 company here in Madison by day, and by night and by weekend, he runs two companies that he founded. Two. He calls it straddling. A leg in the corporate world, a leg in the entrepreneurial dream. His eyes and cheeks and mouth though, they are suffocating in exhaustion. The guy needs a pillow. Seriously. He needs to get some sleep.

The thing is, whenever I see him, I feel energized. He makes me smile because he comes to the meetings. He has great ideas. He contributes. He’s one of the last to leave. He’s insanely passionate. And I know he doesn’t sleep. I know he works ridiculously hard. I also know he’s going to be incredibly successful.

I’m not advocating a no-sleep schedule. I personally need seven hours of sleep. Exactly. If I go to bed at 11:58 pm, my alarm is set for 6:58 am. Exactly. But really, I’m not advocating it, because it’s already happening. For better or for worse, Generation Y is working with our hearts on our sleeves, straddling our work and our lives, straddling our dreams and our reality.

The excitement on the line is palpable. It’s everywhere. The exhaustion is merely a comma in the sentence of changing the world. It’s exhaustion of the status quo. It’s working hard, playing hard. It’s our generation pushing all together in one direction and only moving an inch. A mere inch. But gosh darn it all, we moved that inch forward. And that’s something to celebrate.

At my last job, I worked with some of the top business people in Madison, the CEOs and presidents, and movers and shakers. They inspired me. Now, I work with the next generation of CEOs and presidents, and movers and shakers. Except, we’re already doing it.

We’re already leading, changing, doing. We’ve been moving and shaking since we put one foot in front of the other for the first time. It’s something more than inspiration. It’s exuberance.

I invite the naysayers to come and spend time with the young leaders in my community and tell me I’m wrong. Tell me that the resilience and passion and willingness to do whatever it takes, that the gut-wrenching work of pushing forward against all odds, is not occurring every day, every hour, in the lives of these young professionals. Because I promise it is. We are laid off, or dumped, or abused, or hate our jobs, or are involved in shootings, war, or tragedy, and still we show up. We have great ideas. We contribute. We’re the last to leave. We’re insanely passionate.

That’s the Generation Y work ethic. That’s happiness raw and exposed. That’s what it means to be part of this generation.

Work it, homie.

All better now

My blog is back up! For those of you who didn’t get to read the most recent post on Friday, it’s anxiously awaiting your eyes here:

Life as a Gen Y Leader – Week six

For those of you who have read it already, you’ll notice it’s a lot shorter than the original post. That’s because I like to edit. And while I’m pretty sure that’s against the rules in blogging world, I like to edit, and it’s my blog. Something I learned fairly quickly to mean that it’s actually everyone’s blog. That’s why I like blogging. The connection between me and you. It’s like a novel in real-time, a few pages written each week, and you know the ending just as well as I do. And let’s face it. My dream is to one day be featured on Oprah’s Book Club.

Moditely yours.

Life as a Gen Y leader – Week six

I went out on a date last night. A real date. A lot of the time I go out for dinner or drinks, and the guy thinks it’s a date, but it’s really not, and I’ve yet to figure out how to handle those situations gracefully. I usually smile the smile that says you’re quite lovely and nice, but I don’t think so bud. Usually, they get it. I think.

But last night was a date. I know it was, because we discussed it beforehand. As a Gen Y leader, that’s what you have to do. Your life is in the spotlight, much more, and in some ways, much less, than I would have ever imagined.

As such, dating is a dangerous ingredient to add to the work/life blender. Friends and work and business associates and drinks and family all mix quite nicely. But the moment dating comes into the mix, people get all crazy. Seriously. Many in our generation would prefer not to even talk about it. A foreign concept to me because that’s essentially all my best friend Belle and I discuss.

Belle and I also talk about our sisters and our jobs. We talk about how her mother has breast cancer. Again. We talk about our goals, and dreams, and what to wear on Friday night. But mostly we talk about our respective relationships. Because uh, it’s not like they doesn’t exist, and I have trouble ignoring things that are so basic and integral to our life.

Big Brother likes to keep such things hush-hush, and recommends that I don’t date anyone in my organization. An odd bit of advice, because our membership is made up of young professionals in Madison, and the ones that aren’t part of my organization, well, it’s my job to recruit them. That pretty much cuts out, oh, I don’t know, every good-looking young bachelor in the city. Every young, single, and eligible man in Madison is off-limits. It’s an impossible situation.

So, I went out on a date last night, and he happened to be a member of my organization, and when I tried to explain my hesitance with this fact, he just laughed, like “Is this really what keeps you up at night? You are so lame.” And I laughed back nervously, like “Yes, cute young professional bachelor, I am totally lame. You’re absolutely right.”

I guess I tend to take work too seriously at times. I work hard. It doesn’t stop. From the moment I wake up, I am working, until the moment I close my eyes in bed. And because I can work from the coffee shop, home or at the bar, and not just in my cubicle sans windows, I do. Which means when it is 8:24 pm, I’m usually working. And when it’s 10:02 am, I am working. And when it’s 3:35 am in the morning, well, I am sleeping, but I am working then too. Really. I have productive dreams.

Honestly though, I don’t know how other people do it, and I am beginning to think that I must have some serious health issue because I am not the Energizer bunny of Generation Y. A disappointment that is greatest to myself, because I look good in pink.

So, I am trying my best, which seems to be working out, mostly because your best has to be good enough, and I love myself enough to realize that my best is really quite amazing.

Work/life blur.