I’m with Scott on this…choice–plus a practical addition. If the conversation of balance stays in our heads, it stays intellectual and we don’t actually do anything about it.

So what’s a practice you can put in place that will have you check in with yourself?

One possible practice (I couldn’t leave well enough alone, could I?) is to simply ask yourself a question or two:

Does this choice align me with my purpose/vision?
Does this choice honor who I am (values, always values)?

Put it on a post-it-note and stick it to your forehead. That way, others will be able to remind you too… :-)

Lisa

Rebecca,

Here in Wisconsin, we’ve recently designed and launched a new website for use by modern urbanites. You’re warmly invited to take a look.

JoinVite.com was created to provide its members with the opportunity to post their plans and event-ideas in a secure environment, so that the postings can only be seen by their designated friends, and only for as long as the author wishes. (Think of it as a kind of blog, that’s attached to a calendar, and is customized for each reader.) And the system doesn’t create any unwanted e-mail messages, because the “invitations” can only be viewed when members log in.

If you’re trying to plan a party, or a date, or need to make sure that someone receives your message, this obviously won’t work for you. But if (for whatever reason) you’ve already decided not to call, e-mail, or text someone with a particular idea, then JoinVite.com offers a “better than nothing”, non-intrusive alternative.

For example, my plan for this evening has turned out to be sitting at home watching today’s Netflix delivery. Not too exciting, and nothing I’m going to call other people about. But if I post it to JoinVite.com, any friends of mine (whom I select) can see the posting and respond if they choose. In any event, when the evening ends, the invitation disppears from view. (And if I get a better offer, I can always manually-delete the posting at any time.)

Or, if I decide at 8:00pm that I might want to go out for pre-work coffee tomorrow morning, I can post this event-idea to JoinVite.com, and tell any interested friends to call me around 7:00 in the morning. If 7:00am rolls around and someone calls, great; if no one does, that’s fine too, and I can keep or adjust my plans however I wish.

This site, being new, doesn’t have any sizable number of members yet. Got any ideas for how to reach lots of Modites?

Thanks for reading,

http://www.joinvite.com

@ Milena – wow. You’re mentor sounds awesome. Loved those quotes – thank you!

@ Scott Williamson – You’re right. it’s essential to check in with yourself every once in awhile. That’s what I had to do and realize that I was working towards good. It was a great reminder!

@ Scot Herrick – Interesting way to think about it…. Dan makes an interesting reply as well. I think working towards some sort of balance is important to me. I appreciate your belief that I’ll make it through no matter what though! ;)

@ Dan Merfeld – You’re so good at saying exactly what I don’t say! I am overly self-aware, and I do need to mediate myself on the track. Great comment, as usual. Thank you!

@ Greg – so glad others feel my pain. It’s nice to know I’m not suffering alone :)

@ Tiffany – I completely agree. It’s good to be able to step back and realize that to have it all, it’s okay to do it all, including having time for yourself and friends and family. Looking forward to your post about it!

Some days, that may mean you don’t stop going until your head hits the pillow. Some days, that may mean you take a “break” form it all so you have something poured into you or so you have time for amental break. I think that’s really critical too. To not see yourself as the top of the chain, and also to be able to stop everything to focus on being a healthy, whole person.

We’re a lot alike. We don’t just burn both ends of the candle. In fact, that metaphor doesn’t really work. It’s more like a bonfire of passion and activity – no ends, no candle-like linear lines. And that’s exciting, but it’s also exhausting. So I’ve decided I need a new metaphor. In fact, I think I’m going to blog about it. :)

Hope you are able to take some time for you this week!

I feel your pain. I am used to being able to balance work, newly wed life and a strong healthy social life. But the more that I want to succeed and break away from the corporate ladder, the more time I lose to do the fun things in life. Waking at 6 to get emails done before work, using lunch breaks to catch up on things that are firewalled at work and contact prospects instead of enjoying a sandwich with a friend have become the norm. Meetings have become an every evening thing.

But it is a sacrifice that I make to have the feeling and acceptance that I can be successful in starting my own company. But hey a few beers on a Friday night with the gang might not be a bad idea afterall.

For some, that balance might be 90/10.

But it does indeed all come back to balance. What a great word. Seriously, is there a more applicable word than balance? With all due respect to John Lennon, all you need is balance. Everything else follows.

First, let’s start off with the obvious. You’re not crazy. Far from it. You’re overly self-aware. There’s a difference. I know, I’m in the same category. Us overly self-aware folk go through life trying to find – you guessed it – balance. Always elusive, balance seems unobtainable at times. We self analyze – asking ourselves seemingly insane questions in the hopes that the answers will lead us closer to contentment. If we’re doing well personally, we seek contentment through our work, or vise versa. It’s a never ending quest. And like all good balancing acts, it’s not a matter of balancing on the tightrope, you’re already doing that, it’s a matter of not falling because we suddenly realize how far up we are.

You’re obviously passionate about your work. You’re successful at what you do, so run with that. No need to make adjustments there. So you find yourself working a crazy day/week/month. That’s not insanity, it’s just your life right now. As you pointed out, it isn’t always convenient, but, you know how to self-adjust. You know how to recognize when your life slips out of balance and you’re spectacular at putting yourself back on track (do you feel the positive vibes here?).

Okay, the other point I’d make is on the personal aspect of your life. I’ll tread lightly here, since I know people don’t like to hear such blunt feedback on their personal lives.

I have a theory. I was telling a date about this the other night and I got the crazy eyes from her as I carried her through my flawless analogy. Really, it’s flawless, the crazy eyes were completely uncalled for. When I was able to conclude the theory, she agreed in it’s simplistic genus.

My entire life is like a train. (Are you sporting a pair of crazy eyes? Bare with me here.)

I’m the train. The train is representative of my personality and my general makeup as an individual. I have my baggage cars (don’t we all), people cars (where I carry all my friends and family along for the ride) and a fine caboose (okay, I didn’t say that, waaaaaay too cheesy), but let’s face it most people check it out. We can’t deny the wandering eye. But, let’s move on…

The track mediates the scenery. I’m on track. I know that. But what I’m still working on is the speed to which I cruse along. Go too fast and I keep people from boarding or even worse, derail. Go too slow and I’m not getting where I want to be. It’s a simple adjustment, but since there’s no speedometer on this train, I have to rely on my sense of speed to guide me.

People may come and go, and this allows me to change tracks on occasion. But I’m able to press on because I know, overall, I’m a happy guy. Positive outlook, confident enough to compromise my life sometimes, and still remaining on track.

No introductions necessary, you have all that you need. Press on.

The world is saved and mr/miss right is reveled when we find ourselves traveling along at a balanced speed. That’s my theory anyway…

Instead, there are the choices we make with our time. Sometimes, 80% of that is working a learning curve on a new position and trying to figure enough out to contribute. Sometimes, 100% is caring for an ailing family member. Sometimes, 100% is being away and on vacation.

It is choices, not balance.

For me, the key question to ask is this one: Is the choice I am making right now with my time the right choice for me? If it is, you are in balance. If not, you’re not in balance.

Hang in there — it may not seem like it, but progress is being made. Smart helps versus just working hard. Being more productive helps. But are you doing the work right now because the choice is the right one for you right now? Only you can answer that, but methinks yes.