@ Lisa - I couldn’t have said it better myself! I often feel like we are mind twins as well, so I’m glad you enjoyed the post.

In my work I repeatedly see this bottom line, basic human craving to be of value, to make a difference and know that one’s work, one’s life, matters, period. What routinely, predictably steps in the way of that desire and putting it into action is fear, the building block of stuck “mental models,” to borrow Senge’s terminology. Stuck perspectives. When fear augurs in over time, it usually morphs into cynicism and we now conveniently never have to face the challenge of altering the status quo, or dropping our facades and posturing for the discomfort of personal growth.

And, as it follows, we also never get a taste of marrying our passions to our livelihoods.

I would definitely argue that after basic human needs are met, the desire for an integrated, fully lived life — the alignment of purpose and vision — is top of the list.

But here’s the deal, my POV: conscious choice. If I wake up one day and notice something’s not right in my life, and I want something else, something different…and I don’t follow that awareness, that craving–that’s selling out. Settling. No matter if all I want is to be a bank teller in a bigger bank with better benefits. Once I am awake to the desire and still refuse the call, it’s like settling for emotional dissonance, the tectonic plates that chip away at my soul.

2 cents

@ Milena - The answer to question one is all over this blog.. but maybe I will write a condensed version - something like, how to get your dream job. Anyway, the ultra short version is I came to Madison and knew no one. I came to study journalism, but ended up studying design and environmental studies instead. Neither of which I use presently except in principles.

To answer question two, I’m talking about achieving big dreams without losing your mind. You’re right. Big difference. Maybe I should title the next post how to get your dream job, and survive.

To be clear, I want it all too, but I know you can’t have it all at once. Those are words of wisdom from my mom, and she’s always right .

Thanks again, for the great insight.

@ Angela - Oh, trust me. I know all about flow. I have this thing about entering data, and I really, really enjoy it. It’s strange, I know. And completely geeky. But me and Access, we’re good friends.

This is less about achieving flow though, and more about how the things you’re doing to achieve that flow fit into a larger picture. I don’t love everything about my job. In fact, I dislike a lot of it. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything. That’s the point. Life and work aren’t easy. It’s about knowing that and loving it anyway. And I’m going to say that we may not all be destined to make real change, but if you want to, you’ll be able to. Thanks for your comment!

Thanks for the post. It definitely got a lot of people thinking. Here’s my take:

In “Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience,” Mihaly Csikszentmihaly explains that we are at our happiest when we are in “flow” - when we lose ourselves in our task. If you achieve flow in your job, no matter what it is, you will not be settling because you are being challenged; you’re in a state of complete concentration and focus. You can achieve flow by stocking shelves or by writing a novel.

If you look at it that way, we don’t need to love everything about our job. We just need to be doing a task that challenges us, that engages us in some way. It’s not settling. It’s working. It’s making money.

We aren’t all destined to “make real change with our next career move.” But I sure am glad that some will.

A few things:

1. I would be really interested to hear more about your specific progression to your current position. Who did you know? What did you study? (links?)

2. Are we talking about simply achieving big dreams, or, achieving big dreams without losing your mind, your sense of self? I think there is a distinction.

We see examples such as you can’t be a Gen Y leader and well-rested, or you can’t be the female breadwinner and have a successful marriage. I’ve got to be honest, that’s not the life I want to lead, but find myself a variation on a theme.

And since we are talking about middle class, I’ll bring things to our level. I have a hard enough time getting enough fruits, vegetables, and cardiovascular exercise much less achieving a lot of the goals I hope to see come to fruition, even in the midst of accomplishing a ton…so I guess what I am really arguing for is that we really can’t have it all, something gives along the way, and I think you’ve got to be comfortable with what you are giving up. Security for excitement, big paycheck for meaningful relationships…etc.

By the way, after giving it some thought, I don’t really want Puff Daddy’s life, I want J.S. Bach’s. Besides having a cooler name, he was an accomplished composer and musician, so much so that even today we know who he is and probably anyone could recognize one of his tunes. Additionally, he had a wonderful faith and home life, a whole gaggle of kids and a comfortable stipend from various commissions from churches and nobility. And he didn’t go crazy and die of syphilis like so many of his successors.

Anyways - I really enjoy your website and I’m not so much trying to be contrary as I am trying to sort things out for myself…thanks for verbally sparring with me.

Also, I…forgot what I was going to say….something to do with I didn’t look into what the books mentioned actually were, so, my fault.

In the words of De La Rocha of Rage Against the Machine - “if we don’t take action now, we’ll settle for NOTHING later”.