Another interesting article about so-called ‘helicopter parenting’ is http://www.onteenstoday.com/2008/06/19/10-qualities-of-teacup-parenting-is-your-kid-too-fragile/ This website provides teen opinions on parenting topics.

I hope I didn’t ramble too much and this made some sense..

I like that you mentioned

“I believe we want to enable a workforce that asks for help, that respects their parents, and who aren’t afraid to admit that we don’t have all the answers.”

The most-common piece of advice I would give to a careerist is “Don’t lie. Admit when you don’t know… then prove that you’ll assemble the resources to get it figured out. This is the age of Google. You don’t have to be a ‘Know It All’, but you should learn how to be a ‘Know How to Find-out It All’.

Great post.!

The most important points that came through loud and clear for me:

1. Learn from anyone (and everyone) you can. Don’t discount family just because they’re, well, family.

2. Build a personal support network. Build a professional advisory board. Sometimes, mash-up the two and blend well for best results.

Also, there may be, as many astute readers have pointed out, a difference between involved, concerned parents who are ready to dive into the fray whenever you call and those who ‘hover’ (a la the helicopter term) and interfere on their own initiative.

Example: I had my mom, who is an RN, write one of my grad school recs . This was a difficult decision, and very risky. I knew that absolutely before I included her letter. I could have used one of my fellow board members, numerous bosses and managers, research fellows, Executive Directors for whom I’ve volunteered for years, etc.

But hands down, my mom’s personal and professional knowledge of my goals and what I’d done each step of the way to achieve them (working full time senior year of college, including some night shifts as a patient advocate in the ER) in the face of setbacks was the most concise summary of why I’m pursuing a career in healthcare management and innovation, so I asked her to write a letter.

PS - (I got accepted to Georgetown, but did explain the inclusion of her reference letter to the program chair himself on the phone).

Another example: I am organizing/recruiting volunteers for a healthcare event. Most of the volunteers work in the field, are mavericks, and contacted us directly with interesting stories/emails.

One new volunteer, however, was accepted after his father wrote an email to our organizer talking up his son’s accomplishments. The sons response, after we contacted him, was ok, but just ok. I wonder if his dad submitted the information without his knowledge, or if he’s just kind of going along for the ride. Our other volunteers are passionate about ’selling’ why they want to be involved, and as a result, I’m excited they’re on board. It’ll be interesting to meet this volunteer, who has an excellent resume, and see if he really wants to be there.

Lesson learned: There’s nothing like your own initiative and passion for a field of study, profession, person, etc. authentically expressed.

I don’t care WHO it is that helps you do that - if it’s a parent, so much the better - keep these people close. You’ll need them.

If you dream big, you’ll also fail big, and having this type of support skeleton helps you pick yourself up and keep moving forward.